This post is a sidebar post from my blogging about the book by Beth Moore called So Long Insecurity. In recent years my marriage has been on shaky ground at best, but recently it has taken a surprising turn for the better. I am in no way going to spend time pointing fingers at my husband, truth be told we have both been apart of the failed attempts to make things better that were however until now.
Let’s face it marriage is a four letter word and that word is one we don’t always want to hear but is the only one to describe it and that word is WORK! It is exciting and frustrating all at one time. The one true thing I know is this that without God at the center of your marriage if it doesn’t fail will sure make the work a lot less fun… Yes, work in and on a marriage can be fun!! My husband has really stepped it up as of late and it makes it so much easier for me to be submissive to his leadership in our home.
Yesterday I realized for the first time in a very long time how much fun it can be to hang out with him, I took a late lunch break and we went for a walk at our local park and later when I got home we fixed supper together and played a game, just turned off the TV and actually played a game. this is the man and husband I have always wanted him to be to me. Please don’t misunderstand it isn’t always going to be like this every day of our lives but it’s to me what marriage is all about developing a true friendship with your spouse.
God has given my husband and I a final chance to really make this marriage work and it is up to us to honor God by creating the kind of marriage that is based on putting God first, your spouse/children( in that order) and then extended family and friends.. there have been so many life lessons these last few years and so many times I have ignored the voice of God when he tried to talk to me and when you are outside of His will that is so easy to do.
My husband is so good to me, much better than I deserve and out of respect for us both I will not blog about all the things that have happened over these last few years nor will I ever intentionally say something that will put my husband in a bad light. He has been and continues to be my rock and I am falling in love with him all over again. One of the little things he did recently that was so sweet may seem silly to those of you reading this but to me, it was a sign of just how much he does love me…
I bought the wrong kind of antacids and had mentioned the kind I really like, the kind I had bought I am quite sure is pure chalk… Anyway, my husband remembered seeing the kind I like in a box we had packed when we moved so he went to search for them and found them, brought them in and laid them on the bathroom sink for me to find. Like I said this may seem silly to you but to me, it was just one of those small things that say I love you in a loud voice.
One of the biggest mistakes I made was not cultivating the friendship that had grown from our time apart. my husband and I had separated a few years ago but that is when we truly became friends, our story wasn’t one of a fairy tale romance, we met, moved in together and married in about 5 months time and to top that off were instant parents so we never had just us phase of a courtship and marriage our daughter was already here when we got married. Once she was out of the nest we were strangers to one another because we had dove headlong into parenting our daughter that we really didn’t focus on us as much as we should have.
God has created us for relationships and wants us to be a friend to our spouse as much if not more so than we are with others. So no matter where you are in your marriages make time and take time to cultivate your friendship with your spouse because someday it will just be the two of you. One of my favorite movies is the story of a couple that is told over and over by the husband to his wife because she has Alzheimer’s it’s called The Notebook and any self-respecting woman knows what I am talking about. My favorite scene is when he lays on the bed with her and the next day the nurses find them both there but they had gone home to be with the Lord.. It is also one of the saddest scene’s but how loving of the husband to tell his wife the story of their lives every day..
Awhile back I read a book called The Wednesday Letters which followed a similar storyline no one was sick or dying but it was a husband that wrote a letter to his wife and she, in turn, wrote him one and they would leave them for each other every Wednesday. I so want there to be evidence of a life of love spent together to leave for our daughter and grandchildren.
With each day that passes there is more to celebrate in my marriage and as we continually make God the centerpiece of our marriage I can only imagine how much sweeter life will be growing old with my best friend and partner in this life!
Repost from a former blog – February 2012
Saved To Serve, Serve To Inspire,